When people reach out to me for career counselling and coaching, I always ask them what they believe is preventing them from making a career change on their own. The most common response I get is this: "I just don't know what else is out there".
Whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s, if you're looking to change your career, don’t start by asking yourself “what else is out there?”
Contrary to what you may have been taught, that’s the wrong question. There’s something about starting with what’s “out there” that tells you what’s “here” just isn’t enough.
It’s subtle and might not seem like a problem on the surface. But when you look closely, it’s pretty dis-empowering. I want you to start from an empowering place. So, please don’t start by looking at what’s “out there”, always start with YOU. Start by looking at what’s “in there”.
Start by getting VERY specific about how far you’ve come. Start by looking at what you’ve already built, created, nurtured, and grown.
Notice if you’re thinking “but I haven’t created anything!” or “I don’t know any of that stuff”.
It doesn’t matter if you’re starting out and haven’t had a job yet, if you’re highly experienced, or somewhere in between. You have unique drivers, values, interests, strengths, and ideals. You have an “essence” that’s uniquely you.
This is the place to start.
If you don’t know what you want next for your career, but sense what you’re doing isn’t it, starting with the question of “what else is out there?” will bring up more confusion than helpful answers.
This is when I see lots of folks dive into research--looking at job boards, job titles, or career descriptions for inspiration. Again, this is often what we're taught to do and it seems harmless enough except it often backfires, leading to disappointment, discouragement and more confusion. This is because your brain will look at a very limited number of options and focus mostly on what you’re missing—all the gaps and why nothing you find will work. It will rule things out from a vague sense that nothing seems realistic or possible or interesting enough. You'll run out of options and think "this can't be it", there must be more "out there". We're all "hard-wired" for this, by the way. You're acting perfectly predictably. I've been on to this for almost 20 years. Now you can be on to it too. Now you can do something much more helpful.
I promise there will be a time to objectively consider “gaps”, but not yet -- it’s never a helpful place to start. When you focus on where you are compared to where you think you’d rather be, creativity and possibility shut down. There will be this underlying sense that where you are now isn’t enough. This is why you'll want to distract yourself with research and indulging in things like confusion. It's a very human way to avoid the pain created by those gaps and all the thoughts and feelings they bring up--all the "I'm not good enough", "I should be further ahead" type thoughts. I feel you.
I offer that instead, you focus on gains. Think instead about how far you’ve come. What you’ve already built, created, nurtured, and grown. Notice if your thought about this is “but I haven’t created anything!” or even “I don’t know”. Again, this is such a normal, human response. Perhaps a way to avoid pain that might come up--regret from a path not taken or fear about what could happen if you take it now. This might be the trickiest part and it’s also why you’d rather scroll on your phone or focus on “what’s out there”than what's inside. It's always easier to get confused because then you can give up, right?
But I don't want you to give up. I want you to you push through. This change in thinking—looking for what you've created instead of what you've missed--call it curiosity versus shame—will open you up. This is how you create a vision for your career first. Then you can point yourself towards it, and build at least a tiny bit of belief in it.
If you don’t, what you'll see are question marks, problems, obstacles, all the reasons why none of the other career options you're considering will work. It'll be why you think you need to focus on "what else is out there".
You don’t need a perfect plan, you need a direction to get you past the “I don’t know what else is out there” phase.
The phase where you’ll feel confused and overwhelmed by decisions. Where you’re stuck on the gaps and ignore your gains. My friend, this is what good brains do. I can spot it a mile away.
It’s ok, I’ve got you.
Asking what else is out there is the wrong question. Ask instead: what drives me? what do I value? Shine a light on your strengths and ideals. You’re creating what I call the essence of what makes work worthwhile for you. Then vision comes, inspiration comes, excitement comes.
That’s still not where the magic comes in though.
The magic is in that tiny nugget of belief. That glimmer of possibility that gets created when you remind yourself of what’s inside—of how far you’ve come and not only what seems like an impossible path forward. You need to see evidence of what’s possible.
No research. No action plan. No indeed.com until you’ve got that. Then the other stuff comes swiftly, simply, joyfully. You’ll know what steps to take. You’ll know what to try.
That’s the part you can Google late at night in your jammies.
Learn how to create the magic first. I can help. In fact it’s my specialty. I’ve simplified this work over 2 decades. I’ve distilled it into some simple steps and simple rules.
Cheering you on,
Christine
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“Christine! I wanted to say thanks. I completed the quiz and then it clicked: I don't feel my contributions are recognized or valued by my employer. Time to have a tough conversation and make some decisions. Thanks for the nudge.”
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I followed Christine on social media for quite some time before I reached out so I felt confident that she was the right coach for me. I’d recommend her coaching for anyone who feels stuck in their career and doesn’t quite know where to begin – anyone looking for accountability and motivation to change. Working with Christine led to a huge shift in my thinking about the level of power I have over my personal contentment. What I liked best about working with Christine was that I felt safe – she is genuine, honest and supportive – so I was able to be vulnerable and easily share what I needed in order to move forward. Her constant reassurance that it’s okay to continue exploring, shifting and changing as I grow was invaluable for my piece of mind. Most importantly, Christine believed in me when I had trouble believing in myself. She helped me truly internalize that no matter what obstacles and challenges arise, I can persevere and continue moving forward.
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