If you're looking for a career coach in Oakville, Burlington, Hamilton, Booth Careers is located in Halton but providing career counselling and coaching globally through virtual services.
I’m back with more on how to start feeling better about your work when all you want to do is leave. Also, if you haven't, check out Part I of this series here.
Leaving might be what you end up doing. If you're feeling overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, and uncertain, you're not moving forward. Let me help you move forward!
You're your own biggest obstacle
When it comes to career change, you'll almost always be your own biggest obstacle. By that, I mean your inner dialogue. That inside voice that seems harmless. The things that keep us from moving towards something new are rarely the tangible things. Your resume, bank account, age, experience, or education are not the problem. Neither is the the labour market. You'll have a lot of thoughts about these things though. It's these thoughts that have the most impact on whether you make a change. If you view the labour market in a negative light, you leave little room for hope that change is possible. I don't ever advocate for false positivity or washing over reality. The trouble is, most of us aren't actually living in reality. We're living in our head thinking things about the world and our life that aren't even questioned. Holding belief in things that are not only unquestioned but that don't serve us is what keeps us stuck. There's plenty of suffering in the world without us creating our own, right?
Take a common thing I hear as an example. Often clients will come to me and when I ask them what they want for their career or life, they say "I don’t know”. They've been telling themselves “I don’t know” over and over and over again for so long they actually believe it. It leaves them feeling powerless. They have disengaged from the part of their brain capable of problem-solving. We don't recognize that we'll always choose safety, comfort, and energy-conservation over happiness. This is our default--our design. The great news is you can learn how to use this awareness for good.
Is what you believe true?
Question your thoughts when contemplating change. Don't believe every thought your brain feeds you. Perfect conditions never exist. Stop waiting for them.
Focus on what you might be able to change and work on accepting the rest. Shift into gratitude but don't use that against yourself. There are lots of studies that back up how helpful a gratitude practice can be. I don't want you to keep telling yourself you should "just be happy" or that "other people have it worse". This isn't a contest. You can be grateful AND want more. Remember that.
Possibility
If your dream is to quit your job, I want you to give yourself permission to believe that's a possibility for you. Nothing good comes from guilt-tripping yourself. Learn to comfort yourself rather than admonishing. Even if you don't have a plan that seems possible, I want you to suspend your disbelief for a few minutes each day. Think something that gives you at least a little "ping" of hope. It could be the thought "this is temporary". Or, "I don't know what's next but I'm going to find it. Or, "I've done tricky things before, I can do this". Comfort yourself. Not with fake positive thoughts that you don't believe. Find thoughts that feel better and also feel true. Take as long as you need to start letting some hope in. Once you've found comfort and notice more hopefulness, then it's time to add in something else.
What's not working?
Now it's time to get clear on why what you're doing now isn't working. It seems obvious, doesn’t it? But, it’s a step that’s often overlooked. When we're feeling hopeless, miserable, or checked we overlook what's creating our unhappiness. Sure, we ruminate on the fact that we're unhappy. We remind ourself that we are, but we don't actually take steps to address it.
So, it’s time to ask yourself some hard questions about your current situation. Is it your position that you're not happy with, your boss? the company? Is there one key piece of your position that puts a sour taste in your mouth? When did you first start to feel unhappy? Have you always? Looking at things through a curious eye can take your brain away from the rumination. Refocusing your thoughts in an intentional way can be very helpful. Consider what’s not working but don’t let your thoughts stay there. Immediately turn what’s not working into ideas of things that might. Consider polar opposites, lateral options. For example, if you work with customers or clients who are unhappy, what would be the polar opposite of that? Don't worry about what seems "realistic" or "practical" now. Suspend judgement. Getting curious about and evaluating what you're doing now is important. It will lay the groundwork for you to attack the next steps with a clear head and a more narrow focus. More to come! In the meantime, get curious.
Cheering you on,
Christine
I know something brought you here and maybe it was a search for what to do next about your career. There are a few ways I can help:
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Sarah took the Make Work Better quiz and said this:
“Christine! I wanted to say thanks. I completed the quiz and then it clicked: I don't feel my contributions are recognized or valued by my employer. Time to have a tough conversation and make some decisions. Thanks for the nudge.”
Kim, a one on one coaching client had this to say about working with me:
I followed Christine on social media for quite some time before I reached out so I felt confident that she was the right coach for me. I’d recommend her coaching for anyone who feels stuck in their career and doesn’t quite know where to begin – anyone looking for accountability and motivation to change. Working with Christine led to a huge shift in my thinking about the level of power I have over my personal contentment. What I liked best about working with Christine was that I felt safe – she is genuine, honest and supportive – so I was able to be vulnerable and easily share what I needed in order to move forward. Her constant reassurance that it’s okay to continue exploring, shifting and changing as I grow was invaluable for my piece of mind. Most importantly, Christine believed in me when I had trouble believing in myself. She helped me truly internalize that no matter what obstacles and challenges arise, I can persevere and continue moving forward.
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