Thanks for being here. As a career coach, my biggest hope is that seeing my posts reminds you that if you're having a tough time at work, you're not alone. Over the next 4 weeks I’ll be sharing a series of posts about how to feel better about your work. You might have the goal of leaving your job at some point, but what if it feels liking it's taking too long? How do you make things better in the meantime? I always recommend working on making things the best they can be in your current work while planning your exit. better before leaving anyway, if you can. You don't want to leave your job and realize the job wasn't the problem at all. Whether you stay or go, you’ll still be hanging out with yourself and your same brain. So, if your work problems are rising up out of a feeling of not being good enough, or not belonging, or not being validated, respected, or if you’re having trouble not taking feedback personally for instance, that’s all going to come with you to the next place. The same way we might believe that if we were taller or smaller or had better hair, we would be happier, we think that if we could only change our job, we would finally feel good about our self. What tends to happen is that we’d simply become an unhappy person with better hair, or a taller unhappy person. See what I mean? I believe the best approach if you’re considering a job or career change is to have the mindset that the point is not to run away from something terrible but rather to move towards something amazing. There is a distinction here. But how do you know the difference? The way to tell is by paying attention to the reasons for your decision. Is your reason that you’ve convinced yourself you can’t cope with your boss or is it because you’re super excited about moving on to a new challenge that you’ve been dreaming of? Get clear on your reasons and then ask yourself if you like them. Change fueled by a connection to love tends to lead somewhere better than change fueled by fear, shame, unworthiness etc. Your Perspective and Your Mindset Clearly what I’m talking about here relates to mindset. At the end of the day we all need to have our own back. We do this by recognizing that we can cope. We can cope with the bad boss or the feedback that stings. We do this by reminding our self that we get to decide what we make our work situation mean. We can always do this. We can remind our self that we can actually handle feeling terrible for a time. We actually can feel like hell and not die. We don't have to resist any of it. Sometimes simply giving yourself permission to feel the way you feel is exactly what you need. Then you can show yourself a bit of compassion for pete's sake. You can also remind yourself that you are a very resourceful, capable person. You know things. You can figure this out, even if you don't have all of the "how's" right now. Of course, you can always ask for help but this doesn’t have to mean that you're helpless. Notice how when stress rises in us we seem to forget all the ways that we are capable and immediately stop giving ourselves credit for, well basically anything. We go into a state of feeling helpless telling our self things like "I don't know" and "I'm so confused". It's all complete nonsense. My challenge for you this week is to make a few phrases taboo. Here are the phrases: I don’t know I’m confused Any combination of words or phrases similar to the above. When we tell ourselves that we “don’t know” something, it’s the same as commanding our brain to take a nap. Spend a week noticing every time you hear yourself say or think this. Then watch your brain spin. Instead, try telling yourself you’re not confused, and that you do know. You always know things you can try, you always know one or two actions you could take. Believing you don’t is your brain’s way of conserving energy, of avoiding something that feels risky, of taking the path of the least resistance. This is normal but you can be on to yourself. You can feel at least a little better about your work immediately—no matter your situation, starting with the understanding that you are not powerless. That you are not only a victim to your circumstance. When you start challenging the thought that you’re stuck, you open the door to possibility. This is the often the first way to feel better at work. More next week. Thanks for reading. Here’s to feeling better about work, Christine :) I know something brought you here and maybe it was a search for what to do next about your career. There are a few ways I can help:
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Sarah took the Make Work Better quiz and said this:
“Christine! I wanted to say thanks. I completed the quiz and then it clicked: I don't feel my contributions are recognized or valued by my employer. Time to have a tough conversation and make some decisions. Thanks for the nudge.”
Kim, a one on one coaching client had this to say about working with me:
I followed Christine on social media for quite some time before I reached out so I felt confident that she was the right coach for me. I’d recommend her coaching for anyone who feels stuck in their career and doesn’t quite know where to begin – anyone looking for accountability and motivation to change. Working with Christine led to a huge shift in my thinking about the level of power I have over my personal contentment. What I liked best about working with Christine was that I felt safe – she is genuine, honest and supportive – so I was able to be vulnerable and easily share what I needed in order to move forward. Her constant reassurance that it’s okay to continue exploring, shifting and changing as I grow was invaluable for my piece of mind. Most importantly, Christine believed in me when I had trouble believing in myself. She helped me truly internalize that no matter what obstacles and challenges arise, I can persevere and continue moving forward.
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