There's some old fashioned career advice out there I wish people would ignore. Some of it isn't useful and some of it is actually harmful.
When career changers, come to me for career coaching and counselling, part of my guidance and advice is to address unhelpful beliefs that could be holding you back from making changes you want to make but think you can't. The things that prevent you from making important changes on your own.
Career coaching and counselling can help you do what you already know you could be doing but aren't.
Some of the beliefs you have about your career may have come from advice you've be given or things you've heard being said over and over again. There's a lot of advice out there. Let's talk about some of it. This week I want to highlight some of the bad and outdated career advice it's likely time to ignore.
Here goes:
Outdated career advice #1. Be realistic.
Usually this just means settle.
Please don't do that.
I mean, unless you want to?
But if you have this feeling you might be and you're unhappy about it, it might be because once upon a time someone gave you the idea that it was important to "be realistic" in your career.
These are just a few of the ways I've seen being realistic show up with my clients:
They stay in the family business even though they're unhappy
They take on the same profession or a profession with a similar level of prestige as their parents, even though they aren't happy in the profession.
They prioritize money when it comes to their career even though that's not what actually drives or motivates them. They have been taught to prioritize financial stability and job security, and are afraid or unwilling to take on even the slightest bit of uncertainty or risk that comes with pursuing a new career path or starting their own business.
Some thought they didn't have a clear understanding of their interests, strengths, and career goals, so stopped trying to grow their skills in any area.
In some cases, clients have come to me with the false belief that they had limited opportunities or options available to them based on their education, experience, or background. So, the realistic thing to do was to stick it out in any job, even one they hated.
It's worth repeating here. Many clients share with me particular societal and cultural norms that have played a role in why they have settled in their careers. Family and social pressures have discouraged them from pursuing their interests or taking risks, and instead encouraged them to prioritize stability and security.
They are in a job that no longer challenges them or that has never challenged them and are bored out of their mind. But they are afraid to fail at something new or of being a beginner. Or, they are under the false impression they'll have to start from scratch.
Being realistic kills dreams. Viewing change as risky in the name of being realistic does us all a huge disservice. Staying in a profession that isn't serving you or not doing something that would feel so much more worthwhile is no way to spend a life.
Outdated career advice #2. Follow your passion. Find your calling.
Too much pressure. This is a nice idea but usually not our path. What I've seen time and time again are folks beating themselves up unnecessarily because they haven't yet found a clear passion they can earn a living from or turn into a job somehow.
What I also see are people starting to hate the thing they once loved because they suddenly put pressure on it to pay the rent. Can you do things you love as a career? Yes! Can you have some passion for your career? Yes! But you can also like your job and do work or pursue activities you're passionate about outside of it. Use your work as a tool to get what you want for your life.
I'd love for you to do work you feel passionate about. You can! But is it the only way? No. It is totally okay to have a job that works for you and have a life you love without feeling like you have a calling. Most people aren't born knowing what it is they want to do. Of course there are some who seem to have understood a bigger purpose for their life in the form of their profession early on. That's awesome! Again, not the path for most of us. I always say, you have fulfilled your purpose-you were born. Now how do you want to spend your time?
Outdated career advice #3. Love your job and you'll never work a day in your life
The phrase "love your job and you'll never work a day in your life" is a popular saying that suggests that if you enjoy your work, it won't feel like work at all. While there is some truth to this statement, it's important to recognize that even the most enjoyable and fulfilling jobs can still be challenging and require hard work and effort.
The idea that work should always be enjoyable and effortless can create unrealistic expectations and put pressure on to constantly feel happy and fulfilled at work. I LOVE my work but there are still days when I'd rather sit on the patio and drink wine.
I've talked to people who have felt they had a big career problem only to see the relief wash over them when they realized they actually didn't. They had adopted a belief that they were not living up to some ideal of each day needing to feel like rainbows and butterflies.
Some days might. I hope more days do than don't but it's important to recognize that work is still work, and that there will inevitably be challenges and obstacles to overcome.
Can you find meaning and purpose in your job beyond just enjoyment?
Can you find meaning and purpose in your life beyond just your job?
In other words it's going to come down to what makes work feel worthwhile to YOU. Does work allow you live the life you want?
Outdated career advice #4. Leap and the net will appear
Oh my. The saying "leap and the net will appear" suggests that if you take a risk and follow your dreams, things will fall into place and everything will work out in the end.
While this can be true and I love and encourage some risk taking but this is a personal decision. Different people have different tolerances. I don't advocate blowing up your life recklessly or needlessly.
A big part of what I teach is how to comfort the negative emotion that tends to keep us from doing things we actually want to do and how to approach risk.
Taking a leap of faith without preparation can, of course, lead to financial instability and other challenges. BUT I have noticed a pattern in my clients. They tend to overestimate risks and rationalize playing safe. I have a deep sense that more of us remain unhappy in our work and life by erring on the side of caution than by taking calculated risks.
Ultimately, taking a leap can be a powerful way to build up resourcefulness and resilience. However, it's important to approach this advice with caution and to carefully evaluate the potential risks and benefits of taking a big leap.
Wrapping up
I've seen my fair share of people miss out on opportunities to pursue things they truly felt passionate about and drastically underestimate their potential. That's a shame, in my opinion.
But, it's helpful to take a nuanced perspective when it comes to any of these blanket pieces of career advice. We all need to find what works for us.
So, if you're ready to find what might work better for you, remember I'm here to help. Reach out with a question or something you'd like me to write about and I will.
If you're ready to get to work with me as your coach, you can ask about that too.
As always, I'm cheering you on.
Christine
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