You might be wondering what a shaky voice has to do with career counselling, but I promise you it does. Ever found yourself in a situation where you had something important to say, but you held back? I definitely have. I've felt my breathing become irregular, my face turn red. I am almost rehearsing what I want to say in my head. I hesitate, the moment passes and it feels too late.
As I've gotten older, this happens much less. In high school and university it happened a lot.
Of course this is a common experience for many people, and it can be tempting to stay quiet and avoid drawing attention to ourselves. We worry that it might come out wrong or about peoples' reactions or fear we'll look silly.
Speaking up is a fundamental human right. It allows us to express our thoughts, opinions, and feelings, and to communicate with others. Whether it's in personal relationships, the workplace, or in social settings, speaking up is a powerful tool that can bring about change, create understanding, and foster connection. But it can make us feel pretty vulnerable.
I'm not saying you need to act loud when you're not a loud person. I'm not saying you need to become opinionated when that's not your style. What I'm hoping to inspire here is you letting yourself be you. To speak up in your own way--if and when you want to. Not because it makes you better but because I don't want you to ever feel like you aren't capable or worth listening to.
I actually did some exposure therapy as part of a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) program. I had to put myself in situations I feared (in small, slow increments) to learn that I could do the thing I feared and actually not die. Since that time I've also developed ways to comfort myself during times I'm tempted to hold myself back from doing something important. I share this method with my clients and it's very effective.
I suppose I'm talking about more than just speaking up here. I'm also talking about holding back. Holding back from applying to a job because we don't meet 100% of what the job posting asks for. Worrying excessively about our voice sounding shaky in a job interview. Not putting our good work or valuable opinions into the world because they might not be fully formed or perfect. Worse yet, someone out there in the world might not understand or agree with us. That can feel scary.
Let's talk about some of the reasons to go for it though:
Authenticity and Self-Expression:
When we speak up, we are being true to ourselves and expressing our thoughts and emotions. Authenticity is a key component of healthy relationships and effective communication. It allows us to be genuine, transparent, and vulnerable with others, which in turn can build trust and deepen connections. Even if your voice shakes, speaking from your heart can make a significant impact and create authentic connections with those around you.
Personal + Career Growth and Empowerment:
Speaking up, especially when it's difficult, can be an empowering experience. It challenges us to step out of our comfort zones, confront our fears, and develop resilience. Each time we speak up despite our shaky voice, we build our confidence and self-esteem, and we grow as individuals. It's an opportunity to discover our inner strength and realize our potential, which can have a positive ripple effect on other areas of our lives.
Advocacy and Social Change:
Speaking up can be a powerful tool for advocating for yourself and others, and driving social change. It allows you to share your perspective, raise awareness about important issues, and challenge unjust practices. If when you do it softly, your words can carry weight and have an impact on the world around you. Speaking up about social injustices, discrimination, or inequality can contribute to positive change and inspire others to do the same.
Building Healthy Relationships:
Effective communication is essential for building healthy relationships, whether it's with friends, family, romantic partners, or colleagues. Having what can feel like difficult conversations can foster open and honest communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen bonds with others. It can also prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications that can arise when we stay silent. Sharing our thoughts and feelings openly, even if it feels vulnerable, can create a foundation of trust and intimacy in our relationships.
Personal Advocacy and Self-Care:
Speaking up for yourself is an important form of self-advocacy and self-care. It means acknowledging your own needs, setting healthy boundaries, and standing up for your rights. It's about valuing your own voice and recognizing that your opinions and feelings are valid. It can lead to increased self-respect, self-worth, and self-care.
Overcoming Fear and Building Resilience:
It's natural to feel fear when speaking up, especially if we're used to staying quiet. However, facing our fears and speaking up despite them can help us build resilience. It's an opportunity to confront our anxieties, develop coping skills, and learn to manage our emotions in challenging situations. Each time we speak up, even if it feels scary, we become more resilient and better equipped to face future challenges with courage and determination.
Encouraging Others:
When you speak up, share an opinion, put your work into the world, and let yourself be seen even when your voice shakes, even when you're unrehearsed and unpolished, you can inspire others to do the same. Your vulnerability and courage can serve as a role model for others who may be hesitant to express themselves. By sharing your thoughts and emotions, you create a safe space for others to share their own, and encourage them to find their voice. Your act of speaking up can have a ripple effect and empower others to do the same, leading to a culture of open communication and authenticity.
Resolving Issues and Finding Solutions:
Speaking up, even when it feels hard, can help in resolving issues and finding solutions. It allows you to address problems, voice your concerns, and work towards finding a resolution. By not staying silent, you bring important information and perspectives to the table, which can contribute to better decision-making and problem-solving. It's a proactive approach that can prevent misunderstandings from escalating and pave the way for finding effective solutions.
Personal Fulfillment:
Expressing yourself, even when you don't feel polished or confident can bring a sense of personal fulfillment. It's an opportunity to be heard, share your thoughts and opinions, and contribute to discussions or conversations. It gives you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, knowing that you had the courage to speak up. It's a step towards living an authentic and meaningful life.
Leaving a Legacy:
Don't underestimate the power of your words--written or spoken. Even if your grammar isn't perfect. Even if you say "um" too much. Even if your neck turns bright red. What you have to say can leave a lasting impact and create a legacy. Your words and actions have the power to inspire, influence, and shape the lives of others. Also, by speaking up about important matters, you contribute to a larger narrative and make a difference in the world. Your voice matters, and even if it shakes, it can leave a lasting imprint on the lives of those around you.
Next time you find your voice shaking, remember that your words and thoughts are valuable, and speaking up can make a meaningful difference. Embrace the discomfort, find your courage, take it slow and steady and let your voice be heard, even if it shakes. You never know the positive impact it may have on yourself and those around you.
Have you heard about the Career Mapping Experiences I offer? Work with me from anywhere across the globe. We use an innovative process to visualize your career path in an experience that's insightful, engaging, motivating, and even fun! There are 8 different career experiences to choose from.
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